I realize that I have been silent for a few days now, it is time to remedy this situation.

On Friday night, we had a great discussion with a couple of friends. Honest, deep and very human. These people are so extraordinary. We also talked about some aspects of business school that did not correspond to who we were.

All three of us were women and this aspect seems to be across business schools, not Insead specific. We talked to Wharton people and friends we have at HBS, Stanford and Columbia. Most of them have encountered similar behavior and trends.
In fact, it is even different between Singapore and Fontainebleau as far as Insead is concerned.

One big thing abotu business school is the social aspect. You meet people and you do a lot with them. You do group work, you do dinners, you meet for drinks, you do travels and you do parties.

Parties can take several forms: a nice BBQ with a generous supply of wine through to a Summerball with thousands of people invited, in the most expensive and beautiful chateau around. A lot of insead parties will accommodate hundreds of people.

I went to many of these parties. My preferred one was the Latin American Week party. Everyone danced until 5 or 6am - there was some drinking but most people really were on the dance floor with drummers and Brazilian dancers, and the bonding took place as everyone joined in crazy farandoles. Some other parties, I had to leave before the end. There seems to be a turning point after which people switch from the dance floor to the comfortable strategically placed sofas and swap music for drinks. This leads to questionable behaviors, especially between men and women. I am aware that all these people choose to do this - and most of these people never seem to regret it. It is their way of having fun - I have other ways. I am not judging this behavior as I see no harm done, I see no one coerced into behavior that would make them feel uncomfortable. If you meet most of these people in a non-school setting, they tend to be very different and adopt new styles, perhaps because the general academic context leads to more adolescent attitudes.
However, I must forewarn whoever does not like to party like this. There is tremendous peer pressure - and one must be strong around the "trendy" crowd to show that their own specificity has value. It is heard and respected, but must be made clear. I do not believe that it is the only way to make friends or create a network. People won't just address you and ask you about the latest Montmelian party and if you have no answer, stop considering you. People do consider the whole experience, and if you can take the initiative to put together other activities (there were trips to Normandy, trips to Barcelona, trips to Amsterdam there were ski, climbing and sailing trips, etc...in France), then of course, you will have plenty of other occasions to make friends. So do not choose to go or not go to B-School on that basis. Just be aware of it!
This is kind of a late realization on my side - and it does make you think long over whether you truly "fit" or not. These parties are at the same time integral and on the side of the Insead experience. You can make of them what you want.

In Singapore, things are different for teh following reasons: most people organize trips to South-East Asia locations and groups of about 20 people (rotating) always go. BBQs running until midnight or so (which means that you can do them more often than parties that do start at midnight) allows for a lot of conversation and cool pool dipping. People also organize sailing trips, meet in restaurants downtown more often (food is so cheap) and generally build up deeper and stronger ties with more people earlier. I spent only four months in Singapore but I realize that I know better the Singapore crowd than the Fontainebleau crowd. Obviously, it is also a much smaller crowd...

Insead is about diversity. Dare be different!