We still have not got a phone line. A France Telecom operator has come. Veni Vindi but not Vinci.

He first tried to find out whether the line was active or not by causing the other end of the line to ring. What we did not know at the time was that the line was connected to the neighbor’s. The neighbor’s building is used by a company previously owned by our landlord. The proprietor had a relay installed in his house, for any incoming call. So whenever this operator interrogated the line, he was activating the phone bell on the secretary desk, who would find no one to converse with when picking up the handset.

After a nebulous visit to the house’s most disgusting basement tunnels in search of the phone line’s intricate arms, the operator surfaced in the secretary office of the company next door, who was by that time, sufficiently annoyed by a ring-no response pattern that any phone-related query guaranteed a banging door.
The fact that some secret underground path could open up access to someone else’s office was not the most disturbing factor in this affair. It was impossible for France Telecom to establish a phone line through someone else’s property. In the event of maintenance need, France Telecom would not be able to intervene unless the company building was open. Worse. These people could just tap into our line.
This possibility was not even discussed as the secretary politely indicated the most direct way to the outside world to our phone operator in distress, establishing a clear no-return policy.

The operator then proceeded to locate the head of line, allegedly located in a pole by the gate of the house. There was no such pole. FT phones home, complaining about a mismatch between his historical data and reality, arguing that no one should change the terrain on him. After a 1.5km walk on the main road, the operator locates the head of the line and reports back to the office the updated information.

*Someone* must dig a trench from the head of the line to our house before France Telecom can install a line. A salesperson will contact us.

Three weeks are gone.
The sales person calls and leaves a message.
I call back the next day at 4.15pm. The salesperson has left the office for the day.
I call back one week after. The salesperson is on holiday. His secretary takes my call and agrees to call the landlord to get his authorization. The landlord swears on the head of his ancestors that he has not been contacted by the most efficient proof of the inefficiencies caused by monopoly power. The landlord promises to contact France Telecom.

No further news.

Initial request and purchase of phone: September 6th
Last call made: November 17th
November 20th: receive call from granddaughter of landlady indicating that landlady will call. 30 seconds later, Landlady called and indicates that all we need to do is contact France Telecom, give her old number and that the old line will naturally come back to life.

Is France just not a customer oriented business environment? Is it just that the government privatization efforts is just pushing inefficient elephants into the marketplace? Or is it that our household represents the least profitable customer for France Telecom and they are desperately trying to be rid of us.